Frequently Asked Questions


DESIRE is a unique weekend event for leather and kinky women taking place May 31st to June 3, 2019.

DESIRE is an educational weekend committed to providing outstanding learning opportunities and experiences for all. DESIRE is an ideal retreat for novices where you can learn a wide variety of skills in a single weekend in a safe environment. It’s a great opportunity for experienced players to improve their skills and learn more advanced ways of playing. DESIRE gathers a wonderful group of presenters who are eager to share their expertise with you. Presenters actively participate in all DESIRE activities and are an integral part of the weekend. There will be many workshops and presentations offered during the weekend.  One of the unique features of DESIRE is that participants have the opportunity to have a one-on-one mentoring session or participate in a small group with one of the presenters.

Join us in Palm Springs May 31st to June 3, 2019! We look forward to meeting you and sharing the experience with you.

Your hosts,

Bikkja Amy and Naria


General Questions

How do I register for DESIRE?

You can register for DESIRE here.

Information about volunteering can be found here.

Information about scholarships can be found here.

We are dedicated to accessibility. Information about accessibility can be found here.

Must read rules and regulations.

Registration Guidelines (you must agree to these to register):

  • The name presented on the application must be the legal name of the applicant and not an alias.
  • Legal and valid identification must be presented in order to gain entrance to the event. Legal ID is
    considered to be a state issue driver’s license or identification card, passport, military ID, or other
    government issued identification.
  • A waiver must be signed with the legal name of the attendee in order to gain admission to the
  • All attendees are participating in the event solely for their own personal enjoyment and not in any
    official capacity that includes, but is not limited investigations or gathering of information.
  • Attendees understand that activities at the event will be adult-oriented and sexually explicit and
    may involve acts of domination, submission, bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, and
    other explicit and extreme sexual fetishes. All attendees agree that they will not be offended by
    observation and/or participation in such activities.
  • Applications to attend DESIRE are subject to approval by the DESIRE producers.
  • Although all presenters listed have confirmed their attendance unforeseen circumstances may
    result in unexpected replacements. All efforts will be taken to accommodate attendee’s choices
    but no refunds will be given should that not be possible.
Gender Policy

Updated 3/15/19

Gender identity, language, and gender expression have progressed tremendously over the last few years, and that’s due to the hard work of many who have been on the front lines of inclusive and progressive change that more accurately represents the true diversity of the Women’s and Queer community as a whole.  As societal norms evolve, it’s not always easy to accept or to keep up with the changes, but it is indeed necessary to do so. One of our goals for DESIRE is to be as inclusive and reflective of the important strides being made in the practice and politics of sexuality and gender identities, while still honoring the work that folx have done before, and maintaining a focus on women and genderqueer-centered spaces.


Please note that DESIRE is a play party for WOMEN,  WOMXN and GENDERQUEER folx only. DESIRE is not open to attendance by Binary Trans Men or Cis Men.  We require all individuals that attend to SHOW UP and participate at the event as a person identified in one or more of the following gender identities and if you are unsure if this event is for you and want to further discuss this, please email

This list is not exhaustive:

  • Androgyne
  • boi
  • Butch
  • Cis-gendered Female
  • Daddy
  • Dyke
  • Female
  • Female – Masculine of Center
  • Femme
  • Gender Fluid
  • Gender Non-Conforming
  • Genderqueer
  • Genderqueer Femme
  • Intersexed
  • Non-Binary
  • Third Gender
  • Transgender Women
  • Trans-masculine
  • Two-Spirit
  • Woman
  • Womxn
  • Womyn
  • Woman-aligned


Please note:

  • There will be people present with different gender expressions and that you will see a variety of sex, bodies, and genitalia at this event.  Please remember that people’s anatomy or appearance do not define their gender.
  • Gender is subjective to the individual person and cannot be assessed by outside viewers.  This means that there is no way for you to make a determination about someone else’s gender based on their appearance and/or presentation.
Consent Policy
All participants are expected to abide by the guidelines set forth in order to foster and maintain an environment that is safe for all. It is imperative that everyone in attendance at DESIRE commit themselves to these guidelines in order to keep the open no-bars edge play intact that many DESIRE participants engage in.
For clarification, there are different types of Consent Violations such as:
1. Consent Accidents — These can occur because of error, miscommunication, misunderstanding, or not having all the information
2. Consent Violations — When someone knowingly and willfully chooses to ignore or cross someone’s limits and boundaries
We categorically endorse only Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) at our event and in our community. We denounce unwanted advances, undesired contact, and predatory behavior of any kind. In addition, we espouse the values of Radical Self Care and Vocal Self Advocacy, especially at our event where we do not police any type of interaction and we do not have Dungeon Monitors.
We strive to make DESIRE a safe and nourishing play weekend while allowing any and all consensual play, even when extreme. If/when a crisis arises on-site, we will have First-Aid and a Crisis Response Team available to attend to the situation. We are committed to this process and will continue to make improvements so that those goals are realized.
Below is the Guideline that we have implemented–it is in the Program Book and will be posted on-site at the resort for reference–and we expect every DESIRE participant to adhere to.
All play MUST be consensual. Period. Consent violations will NOT be tolerated at DESIRE. The flagrant disregard for boundaries that have been previously and mutually agreed upon by parties, may include expulsion from the event if deemed necessary as a solution to the incident. CLEARLY ARTICULATE AND NEGOTIATE ALL OF YOUR WISHES, LIMITS, AND BOUNDARIES–EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU PLAY, WITH EVERYONE WHO IS INVOLVED IN THE SCENE. This applies to private play scenes, and most especially applies to Open Community Events where physical contact is going to occur, such as the Biting Circle, the Wheel of Pain, etc.
Safe-words. USE THEM. RESPECT THEM. The DESIRE community safe-words to be used for the weekend are: GREEN YELLOW RED
How many people attend DESIRE?

To create a feeling of community and intimacy, DESIRE is kept at around 200 participants, presenters, and staff.

Who can attend DESIRE?

DESIRE is a play party for women only. In that, we require all individuals that attend, including cisgender, transgender, transexual, intersexed, and gender-fluid individuals to SHOW UP and participate as a woman and/or in woman space. There will be people with many gender expressions present. You may see a variety of sex, bodies and genitalia at this event.

We do not police genitalia.

What kind of play happens at this event? Will there be sex?

DESIRE is a player’s event, meaning a variety of play is happening at all times, including EXTREME play that might be triggering or disturbing to some. Some people chose to include sex in their play, some people don’t. You will see a variety of sex, bodies and genitalia at this event.


It is your responsibility to practice radical self-care and take care of yourself during the event. We have a hospitality suite open during the day until midnight where no play or sex is allowed if you need a break from the stimulation or the heat.

What should I bring?

We supply large equipment and cleaning supplies. Nibbles, water, and electrolyte drinks are also provided throughout the day until midnight in the hospitality suite.

Please bring with you any items and supplies you’ll need to help you enjoy the event, including:

  • toys and play equipment,
  • pee pads (if needed for any fluid play),
  • condoms, lubricant, dental dams, etc.,
  • sunscreen!
  • food (if you’re not buying the on-site meals) and at the very least snacks,
  • large refillable water bottle to stay hydrated.

For a full list of items people bring, read this post.

We are dedicated to being as accessible as possible. If you have accessibility needs, please see this post.

This is my first year. What do I need to know?

Welcome to DESIRE! We have a newbie meeting the first night that you definitely should attend, so check the schedule for that. In that meeting, we’ll go over workshops, mentoring, equipment, and entertainment for the weekend along with giving you tips to get the most out of your weekend.

We also have ambassadors around all weekend long to help you. Check for people wearing bright vests at meal times and in the hospitality suite.

If you haven’t yet, be sure to read our blog posts Ask a DESIRE Veteran – Your Questions Answered! and What to Bring. You can also ask questions in our FetLife or Facebook groups. And be sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter for updates.

What should I bring?

What do you bring to an event as unique as DESIRE? We’ve got a whole list of suggestions for you here.

Ask a DESIRE veteran – your questions answered.

We rounded up veteran’s advice on how to get the most from your DESIRE weekend. You can find their answers here.

Where can I find the complete schedule?

We’ve got a full weekend ready for you! The complete schedule and the workshop schedule can be found here.

Location, Lodging and Local Resources

Where is the event located?

DESIRE takes place in a charming private resort in Palm Springs, California. The resort is centrally located to downtown Palm Springs and surrounded by restaurants and amenities.

For the privacy of all in attendance, we do not release the name and address of the resort until we have verified your registration. If you’re looking for an AirBnB or hotel to stay, the main cross streets are Ramon and Sunrise Way.

We are dedicated to being as accessible as possible. If you have accessibility needs, please see this post.

What hotels and AirBnBs are nearby?
The resort is not able to accommodate your lodging needs. All of the resort rooms are occupied by presenters and DESIRE staff. Participants need to make their own arrangements for lodging. We have included a list of nearby accommodations for your reference.

If you’re looking for an AirBnB or hotel to stay, the main cross streets are Ramon and Sunrise Way.

Here are some hotel options with proximity to DESIRE and reasonable prices:

Motel 6 (#689) .73 miles from DESIRE

660 S. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92262, 760-327-4200

Can’t beat the price and it is less than a mile from DESIRE. It looks like a newer facility. Make sure that you reserve this Motel 6. There are other Motel 6’s a little further away and older.

Best Western Las Brisas Hotel .91 miles from DESIRE

222 S. Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92262, 800-346-5714, 760-352-4372

Comfort Inn 1.43 miles from DESIRE

390 S. Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92262, 888-322-1997, 760-778-3699

Courtyard by Marriott 1.34 miles from DESIRE

1300 Taquitz Canyon Way, Palm Springs, 92262, 800-321-2211, 760-322-6100

Desert Lodge 1.06 miles from DESIRE

1177 S. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92264

800-385-6343, 760-325-1356

Hotel Z Oso 1.0 miles from DESIRE

150 S. Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92262, 760-325-9676

Travelodge 1.49 miles from DESIRE

  1. E. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92264, 800-578-7878, 760-327-1211

Vagabond 1.45 miles from DESIRE

1699 S. Palm Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, 92264, 760-325-7211

What's the event space like?

Walk through the front lobby and you have entered our world. We transform this tropical resort into our secret weekend oasis. There is dungeon equipment and massage tables all over the resort for your use at anytime. There is a large courtyard area for socializing and several smaller more intimate areas. We’ve added lots of shade, including over the spa and part of the pool, for everyone’s comfort. We have an air-conditioned hospitality suite available for cool relaxation breaks. If you want to relax in a beautiful setting surrounded by naked kinky women, this is the place to be.

We are dedicated to being as accessible as possible. If you have accessibility needs, please see this post.

Which airport should I use to get there?
While located near the Palm Springs International Airport, you can sometimes find better airfare deals when flying in/out of Ontario International Airport and renting a car for the 70 mile drive to Palm Springs.
What's Palm Springs like? Should I come early or stay late?
Come to Palm Springs, California, a favorite vacation area! The desert resort community of Palm Springs has been attracting visitors from all over the world for many years and is a favorite destination for the gay and lesbian community. The weather is great and there are stunning mountain views everywhere. Consider adding a few days before or after DESIRE to explore and enjoy this beautiful desert area.

Palm Springs has something for everyone. Besides basking in the sun, taking a dip in the pool and relaxing under the shade of a palm tree, there is lots to do for those who want action outside of DESIRE. Palm Springs is known for its world-famous golf courses and beautiful canyons for hiking. There are museums, art galleries, spas, casinos and lots of shopping opportunities.

Presenters, Staff and Volunteers

Who runs DESIRE?

DESIRE was started over a decade ago by Olga and blu (who still attend!) and was taken over in 2018 by Bikkja Amy and Naria.

Bikkja Amy is the Co-owner/Producer of DESIRE and the Contestant Coordinator for IMsL/IMsBB (2007- current).  She has been creating mischief in the San Diego and Central Valley Leather Communities for the last 17 years. True to her Capricorn nature, she jumped right into her career as a Kinky Woman when she first moved to San Diego in 2000, by becoming a member and board member of Leather and Sisterhood (L.A.S.H.) She then became Knight of Leather 2002. She facilitated the San Diego Women’s Leather Rap group and co-founded the Modesto Women’s BDSM Forum in 2004-06.She became Southern California Leather Woman (SCLW) in 2006 and sat on the board until the title retired in 2015. Bikkja was on The Leather Realm committee at San Diego Gay Pride from 2007 to 2017. She has the honor of being Mama’s Bikkja. As a player, she is a true Switch who is particularly fond of blood. She spends her time in San Diego with her wife, Naria, her submissive and partner “toi”, 2 cats and 2 dogs, and a household of assorted pervs.

Naria Lei B. Jordan is the Co-owner/Producer of DESIRE, IMsL Dungeon Coordinator, Southern California Leather Woman (SCLW) 2013, and Ms. San Diego Leather 2002.  She is a longtime Radical Sex Perv Poly Daddy who has been involved in the Queer BDSM Community for 35 years as a practitioner, organizer, activist, and educator in the Kinky Arts. She co-founded two Women’s-only leather groups in Washington, DC–Lesborados and S/Mazons. She was a co-founder, editor, and writer for the collectively published “Black Leather…In Color” and was the facilitator of the Women’s BDSM Rap in San Diego from 2007-2014. She was also the Co-facilitator for the Women’s BDSM Forum in the Modesto/Central Valley area from 2004-2006. A writer, national speaker and presenter, photographer, and fancier of Fine Fierce Femme Women, Naria is a relentless sex educator, a misunderstood yet flaming Pisces, a true Water Tiger, and always enjoys pushing the envelope–as often as possible! She spends her time in San Diego and Orange County with her primary partners, Bikkja Amy and Brigette, as well as 2 cats and 2 dogs, and a household of assorted pervs.

Who is on staff?

Get to know your DESIRE staff here. You will also be introduced to the full DESIRE staff at Opening Ceremonies Friday night.

How do I get on staff?

We are not taking any submissions for staff at this time.  However, we closely watch for our volunteer pool for those we feel would make great team members!  Staff do need to have attended DESIRE previously.

Who is presenting workshops and offering mentoring at DESIRE?

Some of the most knowledgeable BDSM, leather, and kink instructors come from all over the world to teach at DESIRE. Our presenters offer workshops throughout the weekend, along with one-on-one and small group mentoring, an especially unique and beneficial experience DESIRE offers.

A list of presenters can be found here.

How can I become a presenter at DESIRE?

We are not taking any submissions for presenters at this time.

How do I volunteer?

All the information you need to volunteer at DESIRE can be found here.

Do you offer scholarships?

We do offer scholarships! All the information you need on scholarships can be found here.

Where do I need to be when?

If you’re on staff or a presenter, we’ll give you a schedule personally. If you’re an attendee, you can find both the complete weekend schedule and the workshop schedule here.

Educational Workshops and Mentoring

Who is presenting workshops and offering mentoring at DESIRE?

Some of the most knowledgeable BDSM, leather, and kink instructors come from all over the world to teach at DESIRE. Our presenters offer workshops throughout the weekend, along with one-on-one and small group mentoring, an especially unique and beneficial experience DESIRE offers.

A list of presenters can be found here.

How can I become a presenter at DESIRE?

We are not taking any submissions for presenters at this time.

What workshops are being offered?

We’ve got some amazing workshops for you to attend this year, including both hard and soft skills.

You can find the complete workshop schedule here.

Where can I find the complete weekend schedule?

There’s always something happening at DESIRE. Check out the complete schedule of events.

Sponsorship and Ads in the Program

How do I advertise in the DESIRE program?

Here’s your unique opportunity to advertise your products, services or business at the hottest women’s BDSM conference on the planet by placing an ad in the DESIRE Program Book!

As a DESIRE advertiser, you not only support to the women’s leather community, but you also reach over 250+ women eager to know what your product, service, or business can do for them!

DESIRE has become the premiere annual women’s leather event in the country, attracting participants and presenters from throughout the United States and Canada. DESIRE is the only conference event in the country exclusively for women into BDSM.

DESIRE’s main goal is to provide a safe space where women can learn, socialize and play. Education is one of DESIRE’s main focuses, so this year DESIRE is offering 24 different workshops. Also, one of the unique and popular features of DESIRE is that participants can sign up for a one-hour mentoring session with the presenter of their choice. You can learn more about DESIRE by looking around this website.


  • Place a banner on the DESIRE website for a FULL YEAR.
  • Full Page Ads (8″ high x 5″ wide).
  • Half Page Ads (4″ high x 5″ wide).
  • Business Card Ads (2″ high x 5″ wide).
  • Swag Bag Inserts (business card, flyer, postcard, etc.).
  • Additional sponsorship opportunities available. Inquire for details!


Send your ad order to to reserve your space. Please specify which type of ad you are placing, and attach graphics, if applicable.

The deadline for submitting your ad materials and sending payment for DESIRE 2019 is May 11, 2019.

How do I get an ad on the DESIRE website?

Ads on the DESIRE website are reserved for sponsors of DESIRE. To sponsor DESIRE, see above.

Still have questions?

Contact us at or use the form below.

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